Let it Go!!

I just want to find a place where I can just let things off my chest. I'm pretty much pissed right now.

You see, in any organization or even in a family institution, to LISTEN is important. I am just upset when I am telling my concern and frustration with the current management, and proposed a solution if it's possible i'm being told to reach to a higher rank to be heard.

That really made me PISSED.

Meaning a small fish cannot be heard.

Hey, the smaller fish are those who made you the BIG FISH. Don't be proud. Don't be arrogant. When you want to be a  leader, people is your number 1 priority. Without them, you are nothing! So hear them out, just do your best. Proof to us that you are doing your best and don't say that we don't understand what a leader feels like just because we are not in that "group of leaders".

You are our channel so our voices are being heard. Not ask us to rise up in the organization only then our voices are heard. Urgh..

Panas! You want me to be red, I am red and I am angry now. Blardy pissed.

Part 2 : Child birth

So 37 weeks have passed and again i thought i'd be counting weeks to my due date. During my last check up, my gynae told me that my baby is still at breech position, which is usually quite rare at 37 weeks. My family prayed so hard that the baby will turn so i can have a smooth delivery although c-section would be the next option.

Just few days later i am feeling contractions, which i believe is just braxton hicks. Until one evening i had blood show and i asked my husband to send me to the hospital. The nurses monitored my contractions, it was about 30 minutes apart. My gynae came and we checked on the baby's position once again, we were still breech. I was quite upset and still hope and pray that the baby would turn. My gynae suggested that i opt for a c-section as vaginal birth would be risky, although possible. So he scheduled a c-section for me the next day as i already had some signs of labor.

I really am not prepared for c-section. I asked friends who had experience with c-section and most moms who had both vaginal birth and c-section said c-section recovery period was longer and the pain after delivery is just beyond comprehension. I was afraid of the pain, i was afraid if i had to just lie down on my bed for a couple of days and not able to move around. I really dont't know what to expect!

So i googled  about c-section and i still don't feel comfortable doing it. Until the time when i am about to enter the operating theatre, i refuse to sign the consent form. Thank God my gynae came just before that and i burst into tears telling him that i really am not prepared for this. He managed to calm me down and assured me that this is the best for my unborn child and he invited my hubby to pray together before i am being pushed to the operating theatre.

The process took probably about an hour and my supportive husband was with me all the way holding my hands while the doctor do his stuff (the surgery lah). When he was about to take my baby out, something was holding my baby and then he noticed that the umbilical cord was around his neck! My gynae checked on during my last visit and his neck was all clear then! Well, i thank God that i chose this path, i just cannot imagine if i pursue vaginal birth what could have happened!! God is great indeed...

So, my son is born on the 5th February 2014 and we name him Jayden. No words can express how happy I am with the arrival of my son. Thank you Lord for your blessing!

Part 1 : The Pregnancy

The beginning of 2013 i was struggling with the transition of my new role, double hatting, given additional project and was assigned to mentor a colleague from other OU. It was a struggle i must say as i need to juggle between priorities, family and time for myself. However I thank God that it was manageable although it may not be as smooth sailing. As i am about to settle down with work, we were also busy with the consecration of the new St Columba's church and I get myself back to what i love to do - singing. It was a very big event and i get my feet back to be with the choir and singing worship with the worship team. I was all excited after being on hiatus for quite a while after giving birth to Rowena.

Frankie and I never really planned on when we want to have a second baby despite already talking about it. So during the many practices we had, sometimes I had to excuse myself because I wasn't feeling too well. I probably thought it was due to lack of sleep or perhaps over exhausted. Little did I know God actually blessed me with a new life as he blessed the new church. So, that is where the pregnancy journey begins.

Second pregnancy was not as easy as thr first pregnancy, hence people always say every pregnancy is different and i can testify that too. I had quite a bad morning sickness for the whole of nine months, i vomitted, i'm constantly nauseous, i had difficulty eating sometimes, i was lazy, feeling fatigue everyday, had many cravings, etc. All i can say is it's totally the opposite of my first pregnancy. However, despite all that I am always grateful that i have a life inside me. My little family is so excited waiting for the arrival of our new family member and we always pray for the best.

Neglected

I've neglected my blog, I guess there are many other that takes priorities nowadays and one of them is definitely my beloved little family. I've also moved to a new job earlier this year and that makes learning curve steep again - which I enjoy so  much after the mundane day-to-day job.

I'm trying my best to work very hard to achieve the best results, and I am really trying to find the passion in my new role. I can do the job, I can motivate myself to do my best and I know I can do it but sometimes if passion adds up to all that, it will be better. As I'm about to push myself harder after completing all the transitioning process, handing over to my successor and my predecessor, I've got another wonderful news that I would love to share with people. I'm now expecting the arrival of my second child and both my husband and I were so excited. My daughter too can't wait for her "adik" to be out and she's rubbing my tummy everyday. I know she's gonna be a good big sister to her little "adik".

Talking about pregnancy, my morning sickness isn't that bad but it's definitely not as good as the first pregnancy. I am constantly feeling nauseous, but I couldn't vomit things out. I'm feeling all bloated and I kept burping like mad until I have to warn my colleagues who sat near me that a burping machine is at work. I'm very picky with food and I don't really enjoy solid food unless there's liquid (soup, porridge). I'm definitely not complaining but I just can't wait for the arrival of my second child. I know it's a long way to go but I just can't wait to cuddle him/her in my arms.  

Another new year

Happy new year 2013!!

I'm praying for the best in 2013. I think I'm having a good start, new role, new boss, new team, new challenges. Although I'm feeling a little bit sad leaving my current team, but I'm really looking forward for the new role.

Wishing the best for everyone!

Quarter 4 2012

It's already December and without realizing it, we'll be bidding goodbye to this very year and welcome a new figure in just weeks. It's going to be a norm for most of us where we will reflect on our achievement for the whole year and whether we manage to fulfill our resolution that we have set in the beginning of the year.

Thus far, it has been a challenging year for me but nevertheless I am thanking God that I'm taking all the challenges positively. I learn many new things about life, friendship and relationships and eventually it will help me develop some wisdom.

However, for me...it's really a year where I get to know myself even more. With that, I would like to thank the good friends who were always there during thick and thin, who tells me off when things are just not right with me, who were very forgiving and forget the wrongs I've done yesterday. Sometimes we joke as if no one has a feeling, but everyone knows and understands that by the end of the day, it was just a joke and we don't mean to hurt anyone.

I'm blessed with friends who never failed to see the good in everyone, and often tells each other that despite being hurt sometimes, let the good deeds overshadow the not-so-good ones. Although all of us are from different denominations, different faith and different background...I'm glad we maintain the relationship although most of us are scattered everywhere.

Finally all the updates

Yes! Finally I'm in front of my laptop at night updating my blog. It's a privilege for me to have this space and this time on my own where i can switch on my lappy and start updating stuff. Usually I'd just go through some of my FB updates from my ipad and that would be about it. Time is so precious to me nowadays and I'd like to make the best out of it.

First thing first...lets see, what I've missed. Yes, the JPO trip with the girls. Six of us went to JB and spend three days two nights there. Stayed in Kulai Inn and I'd like to recommend that place. They have free shuttle transport - once a day. I bet the group will always remember uncle chong and how "ganas" he drives. LOL! Nevertheless we had a good time.

Let's talk about JPO. Yes, most of the premium brands are there - GAP, Michael Kors, Coach, Burberry, Levi's, Adidas, Nike, Timberland, Fossil, Pedro and many more...maybe the few that I would not consider premium brands are Padini and Vincci. It's cheaper than the ordinary retail price and for some of the premium brands, they have different design for both retail and outlet. Didn't really shop that much, bought one each for my family but the most for my daughter. I can spend hours just smiling and looking at baby clothes.

Here's a video made by Ruby...thanks Ruby for putting this together!! Love it!!


What's new? Yea, Rowena is such a big girl now and she's always curious about so many things. She couldn't sit still and we're always on the chase. Anyway, love her so much and I'm always eager to watch her grow and explore new things.

Life in the office, I think I'd rather not comment much. All I can say is that I just go to the office and do what needs to be done and wait for my paycheck month end. It's everyone's concern with the current condition around the department...but lets just wait, pray and hope for the best.

I'm turning back into my old healthy lifestyle. I eat moderately, and I don't refrain myself from eating what I want to eat. The trick is - I control my portion and I exercise regularly. Now that I have swimming buddies, we normally go for lunch during lunch time. Unless I have other prior appointment, I would then go after work. Once a week, I'll do some core training. Health is wealth.

I think that's all for today...if it's too lengthy then you'll be bored to death reading my post. Hahaha. Till then.